America’s current state of affairs…..

The list of controversial policies are endless and these are troubling and anxious times.  Controversy by design is divisive and maintains a sense of instability with the general population and is used by those in positions of influence for the primary purpose of keeping their opposition in a state of flux. Controversy can be effective when used appropriately to distract your competition in a business environment or athletic competition from focus and create an opportunistic environment in which you can flourish.  We have lived through troubling and anxious times before but through those eras we had faith in the leadership of those in positions of influence, leadership that would guide us with intention to come out the other side having grown stronger and more determined to make the world a better place.  We had faith in the institutions in which they served that the historical significance set out before them would provide guidance and direction for an agreeable outcome.

The traditional media, social media, bloggers, writers, editorialists and journalists remind us daily on the division in not only the USA but also the world.   Power and influence are no longer being used to create opportunity for the greater good. Certain elected officials are now using power and influence for their personal gain and to exert control over those who elected them.  Power and influence most recently was used to destroy a procedure in one of our most prominent legislative institutions ever created, our United States Senate.  Them and we are words now used in our modern age to cast blame and divide us, yet forgetting that ultimately there is only we to consider.  We are the world in which we all have to live collectively or perish at the expense of our division.  Ultimately it is impossible to separate us, we only have one planet and as a result of instantaneous communication and satellite imagery this planet is getting smaller every day.  We have arrived at a place in history where our desire for power and influence has overreached our ability to extend our hand to anyone who possesses the slightest differences or opinions. The use of diplomacy and dialogue have been cast aside and replaced with antagonistic actions and a lack of adult communication.

Wars were once fought to maintain stability and provide freedoms but now they are instigated to provide personal gains and control for the benefit of the power players at the top while the general masses die as a result of their desire for control and wealth.  A few weeks ago my pastor during his message to our congregation said: “We are safer when we are friends with our neighbors as opposed to fearing our neighbors and considering them our enemies”.  These words may seem to be an over simplification in an effort to apply them to the complexities of the world in which we live, but if we are unable to find friendship with our neighbors be it next door or half way around the world then chances are they will become our enemies.

The future of our existence and the very foundation of the democracy we have existed on for the past 238 years is being crippled by leaders who are no longer looking forward to our future and position in the world but instead are obsessed with policies of the past.  Never in our history have those in leadership been so obsessed with eliminating progress made by previous administrations.  Change and evolution are obvious and adjustments must be made to policies.  Leaders are required to evolve on positions if they are to remain relevant and effective for the constituencies they serve despite the fact that change is an uncomfortable process for most people.  However, erasing our history destroys the foundation on which we build our future.

Dialogue is the answer and it takes both sides to engage for dialogue to be effective otherwise the result is finger pointing and name calling, a technique used by schoolyard bullies who have no position on anything other than a desire for power and control.  Is this America’s current state of affairs…..?

Why Do You Hate? ¿Por qué odious? (Versión en Español Incluida)

For the past 40 years I have been exposed to the hostility of hate without any understanding of the reason.  Now I am not claiming to be a perfect human being and there is no doubt during my lifetime I have reacted in a way that generated hostility toward me, usually in response to some verbal or physical attack but my actions may not have been the best approach to a resolution.  However, I still have never understood as a teenager, a young adult or a grown man why some people have hate in their heart for other human beings.  When I was a young boy I was bullied beyond your imagination.  I was called names, very vulgar names and was subjected to physical abuse, this abuse wasn’t directed to just me, my abusers also made jokes about my family, about the fact that we were poor and didn’t have trendy clothes to wear or the latest style of shoes, but I powered forward.  I remember vividly being held down by a group of boys and had fireworks placed down the back of my pants and the burns it left on my skin.  I remember working as a young man to help my family make enough money to feed our family, pay rent, pay the electric bill and while I was working the kids from my school would come to where I worked and make jokes about me in front of my fellow co-workers.  I remember walking the hallways of my school and being pushed and shoved by the kids, having my textbooks taken away and thrown into the trash.  I remember when the teacher asked questions in the classroom and I wanted to answer a question and knew the right answer but was terrified to respond because I would be beaten up after class for my knowledge.  I remember all of these things but what I can’t understand about any of these experiences is why?  Why did these young people despise me so much simply because of who I am?

I was fortunate enough to survive my teenage years and leave home to go to college and found a new world.  I found a world of acceptance and socialization.  I found a world where I could learn and experience friendship.  I found a place where I could be a man, but I didn’t find me.  I knew without a doubt that the hate would continue, the verbal and physical abuse would remain a part of my world unless I pretended to be a man I was not, you see I had to live a life that was not true, not genuine, I had to pretend.  I successfully fulfilled this task and lived a life for a few years pretending to be someone I was not and made many friends who never knew the real me.  It was a very sad and horrible experience.  I was very popular, I had many friends and I was able to get the best jobs during my college years because of my status at school and my relationships with the right people.  But the reality was, everything about me during that time was false, fake, not real. I was pretending and the people who thought they knew who I was as a person, as a friend, didn’t know me at all.  There was no doubt in my mind if they knew the real me, the genuine me . . . they would hate me too!

After college, as a grown man, I needed to be me, no longer pretend, no longer be afraid.  I had to live, or I had to die.  I wanted to live; I wanted to embrace the man that God created.  I wanted to be loved for who I was, how I was born, and the good deeds I wanted to provide to my fellow man.  I didn’t want to be loved for the person I was pretending to be and I didn’t want to be hated for the person I was; I wanted to be loved for who I am!  I never made a decision to be gay; I don’t have a preference about my sexuality.  When people say to me how did you know you were gay? I ask them how did you know you were straight?  When men ask me why are you attracted to men? I ask them why are you attracted to women?  This is something that we as human beings do not choose.  We do not make choices about our sexuality, it is something inside us that is created when we are born, and it is part of the human being God made.  So when you choose to hate a person because they are gay I don’t understand your hate.  I don’t understand why hate exists at all, why people hate someone because the color of their skin is different, why people hate someone because the person speaks a different language, why people hate someone because we pray to God in a different way, why people hate because their neighbor doesn’t have enough money to live in a bigger house or drive a fancy car.  Why do people hate? I will never understand the concept because if we just extended our hand in friendship we would realize that all anyone wants in life is to be accepted. 

I have been called names my whole life, I have been hated by many people, I have been verbally and physically abused because of who I am, but I am still here.  I am the luckiest man alive because through all the hate, I found love.  To find love you must live, you must be genuine and you must be whom God made you.  I pray for those of you who read these words and are experiencing hate in your life, I pray your family will embrace you and provide you a world of peace and comfort, I pray you will realize it is better to be loved for who you are than to be loved for pretending to be someone you are not.  Hate will never go away, or at least it has never gone away for me, but I still believe in God and I still believe the world is a good and a beautiful place created just for us.

I am a man, so you can call me any name you want, you can call me a faggot, you can call me a maricon, you can call me a freak, a degenerate, abnormal, you can all me anything you want because we all know the only reason you call me or anyone else names is to make yourself feel better about the sins you commit yourself! You do this so you can convince yourself that God will ignore your transgressions if the world is focused on what you believe are mine.  The Lord does not work that way, you know it and I know it, we all know we must all answer for our own actions and for the record...judging others is committing sin! Only God may judge us, and he will judge us. I am comfortable and confident that the Lord will forgive my transgressions because I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and protector, I have asked him to forgive my transgressions, I hope you have too!

Why do people hate, I have no idea but I do know God gave us life, not to hate, but to love. So for those of you who continue to call me vulgar names, hate me for who I am . . . my only question is, why do you hate?

En Spanish

En los últimos 40 años he estado expuesto a la hostilidad del odio sin comprender en absoluto la razón.  Ahora bien, no pretendo ser perfecto y no me cabe duda de que a lo largo de mi vida puedo haber reaccionado en ocasiones de una forma que haya generado hostilidad hacia mí, usualmente en respuesta a un ataque verbal o físico, pero mis acciones podrían no haber sido la mejor estrategia para la resolución.  Sin embargo, aún no he logrado entender--ni de adolescente, ni como joven adulto ni tampoco en mi madurez--la razón por la que algunas personas guardan odio en su corazón hacia otros seres humanos. 

A lo largo de mi niñez fui acosado de forma inimaginable; me insultaban con calificativos muy vulgares y fui víctima de abuso físico, dirigido no solo a mí sino a toda mi familia.  Los abusones se mofaban porque éramos pobres y no vestíamos a la moda ni llevábamos el calzado “de última”, pero logré perseverar y avanzar a paso firme.

Recuerdo perfectamente cuando un grupo de chicos me tiró al suelo para colocar una sarta de cohetes dentro de mis pantalones, y cómo me quemaron la piel.

Recuerdo también como ya de joven trabajaba para ayudar a mi familia, con el dinero que ganaba contribuía a la compra de alimentos y al pago del alquiler, la electricidad, etc.; los chicos de mi escuela solían presentarse a mi trabajo y gastar bromas a mis expensas, frente a mis compañeros.

Recuerdo asimismo cómo era valpuleado al caminar por los pasillos del colegio, los chicos me arrebataban los libros para tirarlos a la basura.  Recuerdo cuando el profesor hacía preguntas en la clase y aunque supiese la respuesta correcta sentía pavor de levantar la mano por temor a que, envidiosos de mi conocimiento, me golpeasen a la salida de la escuela.

Recuerdo todas estas cosas pero lo que no logro comprender es el porqué de esas experiencias.  ¿Por qué me despreciaban tanto esos jóvenes simplemente por ser quien soy?

Fui bastante afortunado por sobrevivir a esos años de adolescencia y poder irme de la casa para asistir a la universidad, donde me recibió un mundo nuevo.  Allí encontré un mundo de aceptación y socialización.  Encontré un mundo donde pude conocer y vivir la amistad.  Encontré un lugar donde podía ser un hombre, pero no me encontré a mí mismo.

Sabía, con absoluta certeza, que el odio no se detendría, que el abuso verbal y físico seguiría formando parte de mi mundo a menos que pretendiera ser el hombre que no era; es que debía vivir una vida que no era auténtica, no era genuina, debía fingir.

Cumplí con éxito esa tarea y durante unos años viví fingiendo ser alguien que no era, hice muchos amigos que nunca conocieron al verdadero yo.  Fue una triste y horrible experiencia.  Era muy popular, tenía montones de amigos y pude conseguir los mejores empleos durante esos años gracias a mi “estatus” en la universidad y a que me relacionaba con la “gente correcta”.

Pero la realidad es que todo sobre mí durante esos años era falso, fingido, no era auténtico.  Fingía y las personas que creían conocerme, conocer quién era como persona, como amigo, no me conocían en absoluto.  No me cabía la menor duda de que si hubiesen conocido al verdadero yo, al auténtico yo…también me odiarían!

Tras la universidad, ya de adulto, necesitaba ser yo mismo y no seguir fingiendo ni seguir sintiendo miedo.  Debía vivir o debía morir.

Yo quería vivir; quería asumir al hombre que Dios había creado.  Deseaba ser querido por quien verdaderamente era, por cómo nací, y por las obras de bien que quería brindar a mis semejantes.  No deseaba ser querido por la persona que fingía ser ni quería ser odiado por la persona que era, deseaba ser querido por mí mismo! Nunca tomé la decisión de ser gay; no tengo preferencia sobre mi sexualidad.

Cuando me preguntan, ¿cómo supiste que eras gay?, les respondo, ¿cómo supiste que eres heterosexual?  Cuando los hombres me preguntan, ¿por qué te atraen otros hombres?, les respondo, ¿por qué te atraen las mujeres?

Esto es algo que como seres humanos no escogemos; nosotros no escogemos nuestra sexualidad, es parte de nuestro ser, se encuentra en nuestro interior y se crea al nacer y es parte del ser humano creado por Dios.

De modo que cuando decides odiar a una persona simplemente porque es gay, yo no comprendo ese odio.  No comprendo porqué existe el odio, porqué algunas personas odian a otras por tener la piel de un color diferente, porqué hay personas que odian a otras porque hablan un idioma diferente, porqué hay personas que odian a otras porque le rezamos a Dios de manera distinta, porqué algunas personas odian al vecino que no tiene dinero para vivir en una casa más grande o comprarse un auto más llamativo.  ¿Por qué odia la gente?  Nunca entenderé ese concepto porque si extendemos nuestra mano en amistad nos daríamos cuenta que lo único que desea una persona en su vida es ser aceptado.

Durante toda mi vida he sido insultado, odiado por muchos, he sido víctima de abusos verbales y físicos simplemente por ser quien soy…pero aquí me tienen.  Soy la persona más afortunada del mundo porque a pesar de todo ese odio encontré el amor.  Para encontrar amor uno debe vivir, uno debe ser auténtico y uno debe ser la persona que Dios creó.

Oro por aquellos de usedes que están leyendo estas palabras y tienen vivencias de odio en sus vidas, rezo porque sus familias les asuman y les brinden un mundo de paz y consuelo, rezo para que se den cuenta que es mejor ser amado por quién uno verdaderamente es y no por la persona que uno pretende ser.

El odio nunca desaparerá, o por lo menos no ha desaparecido en mi caso, pero aún así creo en Dios y creo que el mundo es un lugar de bondad y de belleza que Dios creó para nosotros.

Soy un hombre y puedes usar contra mí el calificativo denigrante de tu preferencia, puedes llamarme maricón, engendro, degenerado, anormal…lo que quieras, porque todos sabemos que la única razón por la que empleas esos calificativos contra mi o cualquier otro es para no sentir culpa por tus propios pecados!  Lo haces para convencerte a ti mismo que el Señor no tomará en cuenta tus transgresiones si el mundo vuelca su atención sobre aquellas que consideras son las mías.

El Señor no actúa así, tú lo sabes y yo lo sé, todos sabemos que debemos responder por nuestros propios actos y, para que quede claro, ¡juzgar a los demás es pecado!

Sólo Dios puede juzgarnos, y lo hará.  Me siento confiado que el Señor perdonará mis transgresiones porque he aceptado a Cristo Jesús como mi salvador y protector, le he pedido que perdone mis pecados, ¡espero que también lo hayas hecho tú!

¿Por qué odia la gente?  No tengo la menor idea pero sí sé que Dios nos dió la vida, no para odiar sino para amar.  Así que para aquellos de ustedes que siguen llamándome por todos esos calificativos vulgares, que me odian por ser quién soy, les tengo una sola pregunta…¿por qué odias?